


MMMM The Big Slappy

by orphan_account



Category: Hamilton - Miranda, Spring Awakening - Sheik/Sater
Genre: M/M, alexander james miller dies, aromantic big bird, butter lube, corn fucking, erin dabs and then kills alexander by breaking his neck, hanschen is confused and hates god, hanschen nuts on melchiors ear, lin manuel miranda cheats on joe trohman with mitt romney, melchior is hanschensexual, melchior is straight but is gay for hanschen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-08
Updated: 2016-06-08
Packaged: 2018-07-13 22:32:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 756
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7140281
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is what happens when you suck too much dick...</p>
            </blockquote>





	MMMM The Big Slappy

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Melchior Gabor](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Melchior+Gabor).



The day was bright and warm in the corn field. "Wow," Mitt Romney said, with his boyfriend Lin-Manuel Miranda awkwardly nae naeing into the distance. "That is one ripe piece of corn." Mitt looks back for his boyfriend to see no one standing there. He pouts and shoves his big yaoi hands into his trousers. The pockets break because the yaoi hands are too big. "I wish Lin would stop nae naeing away from all of our life problems." Lord Farquaad hugged Mitt's shins only because Lord Faquaad is super short. 

"We're here for you, Mitt." He cooed. 

"Hah, I guess your problems fit like a GLOVE," Jar Jar laughed. "Get it, because mittens and gloves.. And your name.. Is Mitt...." Everyone stares at Jar Jar Binks angrily and then George W. Bush kicks Jar Jar Binks' ass into space. Wendla and Rachel start crying because Jar Jar was their boyfriend and they loved him very much. 

"George, How could you do this to us?!" Rachel and Wendla said in unison.

"It was for his own good, besides, he was accused of drinkos pee-pee after all." Everyone nodded in agreement. 

Lin came back, but they've noticed that something was up with Lin. Everyone took turns smelling the Puerto Rican man. There was definitely something wrong with him. A wave of sweat pours out of Lin's Hamilton hoodie and suddenly everyone is concerned. Not only that, but the corn field is flooded with body odor and sweat.  
"You look significantly nicer dressed than you were previously." Melchior finally noted. 

"That was a bit rude," Lin said through tears. 

A lanky fifteen year old boy burst out of a corn husk and hugged Lin. "Oh Lin," Alexander said while also crying. "I cannot believe you're really here! I love you so much. I love all the musicals you've written and even had a dream about you and I woke up crying. Please don't cry. I love you so much. Please adopt me."  
Erin fell out of a helicopter near the group and dabbed before breaking Alexander's neck.  
Everyone including Lin become silent.

"Anyways, who wants to fucking go to Chuck E. Cheese?" Joe Trohman yelled from behind Big Bird. 

Everyone except Melchior and Hanschen agreed and everyone left without them. They drove fifteen minutes to the nearest Chuck E. Cheese in a minivan that Big Bird got while he was in federal prison. It was full of crack cocaine and dank weed. They had to park the minivan seven blocks away so the cops couldn't find Big Bird despite the ankle bracelet he wore because he was still on probation. They all went inside the Chuck E. Cheese and got their hands stamped before they saw Ryan Ross standing sadly behind the counter. He sported a Panic! at the Disco shirt under his uniform and he had a Jacob Sartorious bracelet on. He began to serenade them all with a classic Panic! hit. 

"Crawling in my skin," He sang while pulling a guitar out of his ass. "These wounds they will not heal. Fear is how I fall, confusing what is real." 

Filthy Frank is aroused by this and nuts all over Lord Farquaad's fancy hat and they exit the premises to go have wicked hot meme sex in Big Bird's drug van. They all get their tokens and pick a table when Lin-Manuel, the esteemed playwright, squeezed Joe Trohman's ass cheek. Mitt noticed and emitted a high pitched politician wail from the other side of the establishment. Everyone burst into tears because they couldn't believe that Lin had done this. Mitt and Lin was everyone's OTP. 

Meanwhile, back at the cornfield, Hanschen Rilow and Melchior Gabor were swimming in the sweat and body odor with pool noodles and inflatable penises.  
"Hey," Hanschen began doing a cannonball out of nowhere and swimming up next to Melchior. "Do you like.. Wanna have corn sex?" 

Melchior is taken aback by this. "C-Corn sex? Hansy, I-"

"Trust me, It's hot. It's like shoving a mini Donald Trump up your ass." 

"That.. Does sound nice, actually." 

Hanschen nodded and then Melchior took a canon and shot seventy-seven corns up Hanschen's ass. "That is one ripe piece of corn up my ass, Melchi."

Jar Jar Binks angrily shot down from outer space like a meteor and lands in between Melchior and Hanschen. Hanschen was about to bust an Ultimate Nut into Melchior's ear but Jar Jar intercepted it so hard that he broke all of the atoms in the world and everybody died.


End file.
